Photo from http://www.soulwinning.info/hm/starting.htm
As I pulled into Woolies to do the family shopping I had a doctor’s heart-sink moment. A man was lying still in the gutter out the front of the grocery store. I’m on maternity leave, I don’t thrive on emergency medical situations at my best, but I got out of my car ready to spring into resuscitation mode. It wasn’t necessary. As I approached the man and spoke to him he opened his eyes and sat up. He was confused, had no obvious injuries, and refused my help. I did however manage to convince him to remove himself from the gutter in the interest of safety and he instead sat down on the nature strip. I asked a woman sitting on a bench up the street whether she knew anything about the guy. She told me he had been lying there for at least 15 minutes, that she thought he must be drunk, and had called the police, who had refused to come. The gentleman in question was looking rather the worse for wear – grubby and in tatty clothing. He may well have been homeless. Not having my phone on me, I approached the manager of the store and demanded they call an ambulance. I told them they would have a pedestrian fatality out the front of their grocery store if the ambulance didn’t attend promptly. Thankfully they did (although not promptly), and the man was escorted away.
A few things bother me about this situation. Firstly is the lady’s assumption that a shabby looking person lying in a gutter was drunk. This may or may not have been the case. I am a serial waker-upper of homeless people sleeping in unusual places because I know this is often not true. Even if it is, intoxicated people are more likely to become unconscious due to accident, injury or, heaven forbid, alcohol poisoning which in itself may be fatal. My usual wake-up line is “Sir/Madame, I just want to check that you are okay.” Never have I been abused for doing this, although just to be sure I always speak to them from a short distance away initially. Most often the reply is something along the lines of “I’m fine love, just having a little sleep. Thanks for checking.”
At least the woman that I spoke to was concerned enough to ring the police about a man lying in the gutter of a busy road. Other than myself, in the total of forty minutes that it took the ambulance to attend nobody else checked on the well-being of this chap. The other passers-by, and there were a lot of them, may have assumed, like the woman that he was drunk and wrongly that he was therefore not at risk. I think their unwillingness to assist runs deeper though, indicating just how self-oriented and isolated our society has become.
Another grocery store story. During my recent pregnancy I was unwell – I ended up requiring a wheelchair when out and about. Prior to that becoming necessary, when I was seven months pregnant, looking nine months pregnant I popped into the grocery store to pick up a couple of items. It was a mistake. My blood pressure dropped, I couldn’t stand and nearly passed out. Fortunately there was a stack of toilet paper that I could sit on instead of my usual seat in this situation, the floor. I was stuck, too ill to stand up un-assisted and leave the store. I had to call my husband to come and get me – and it took and hour for him to attend. It was a really long hour. Once again there was a lone person that assisted me – a store employee who brought me a bottle of water. But that was it. As I sat there very unwell, hunched over my every-day companion vomit bag and I am sure looking sick as hell nobody else asked if I was ok. During this time over twenty people passed me by – I was well enough to count initially. Some were polite enough to ask me to move so they could reach for their purchases, rather than just reaching over me and sighing audibly at the inconvenience as some did. The thing is, I was well-dressed, as least as well dressed as is possible for someone that looked like a human watermelon. I was clearly not drunk, and probably not homeless. And I was heavily pregnant.
I have been pondering these incidents lately. Why exactly is it that people are so reticent to become involved in another’s misfortune? Is it simply that they are too busy to help? Were they worried that I may have asked something of them? Is it that we hate the idea of doing something for free? Is it just that as a society we have lost compassion? The truth is there is often a cost if we do stop to assist others, but it is usually a small one. I was late home from the grocery store for example when I stayed to make sure the ambulance attended to the confused man outside of Woolies. Potentially, and rarely the cost may be higher. I carry a face shield in my car for example to help protect against communicable diseases if I am required to render CPR. If I didn’t have the shield with me though I would still perform CPR.
I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why people didn’t stop for either the man lying in the gutter or myself. I do know however that it isn’t good enough. We must be willing to meet other people in their time of crisis and to help them. As a mum to three kids I just hate the idea of them needing help someday – whatever situation they find themselves in life, and of people passing them by.
About the author: Danielle Esler is a medical doctor and mum to three young kids. This blog provides tips and advice for parents traveling with small children including attraction and accommodation reviews. She also sometimes get on her soap-box and blogs about other things she is passionate about. You can join her on Facebook to receive updates to your news feed.
I’m surprised that no one helped you when you were pregnant. However, I’m less surprised that no one helped the man they assumed was passed out drunk. Thank you for sharing how you approach waking up the homeless people you are concerned about. I will have to keep it in mind.
Michele – I only once other than this time called an ambulance for a scruffy looking person that was passed out (all the others have woken up and told me they were ok). In the other case I was abused by the ambulance officers who also made the same assumption that they must be drunk! In that case I put on my doctor had and gave them a lecture but I am sure if a non medical person had called them they would have left the poor, unwell lady lying there.
That’s a good line to use and a good idea.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen this video, which underlines your point:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGPjUyVtTQw
Bron – I hadn’t seen the video and it is just awful to watch – although pretty much identical to the situation I witnessed myself. Just mind boggling the way humans behave.