A multi-generational sleigh ride in China
I really miss my grandma. She died last year, in her nineties. I never lived in the same city as my grandparents however our close relationship was forged during vacations with “Gar and Nandy”, my mother’s parents during my youth. Long languid summers spent with them at their apartment in Burleigh Heads, Christmases in Sydney and road-trips with them in the United States were the golden moments of my childhood. We now live distant to my own parents and parent-in-laws and desire to create for our own children joyous memories of their grandparents. For that reason we are accompanied on many of our trips by one or more of our kid’s grandparents. With my own parents we have travelled in Italy, China and Japan, with my mother-in-law to Disneyland. We are not alone in this – multi-generational vacations have been identified as a growing trend among family travels.
While there is much to enjoy on a multi-generational vacation, all does not always run smoothly. With experience we have ironed out some of the creases in our own joint adventures and our most recent multi-generational vacation, to China is the crowning jewel in our exploits to date. A key to successful multi-generational travel is being explicit in expectations, and, as parents, always putting the needs of your children first.
Sticking to your child’s routine.
When traveling as a group, particularly if you a visiting an amazing destination there will be competing interest about how best to spend your time. Children’s routines such as the need for a midday nap can interfere with other’s plans. Nap times for us are an essential part of our children’s day. If they are missed it is I as the mother that will pay – usually by being up all night with kids that are over-simulated and distressed. Consequently they are non-negotiable. I don’t ask that grandparents accompany us home at midday for nap-time, I just insist that I be allowed home to put my kids to sleep.
Meal times.
Dining out with toddlers is not easy and there is no place for languishing long lunches. If dining out with our kids we want someplace that is child friendly and quick. My own parents are particularly partial to a languishing lunch so I often recommend that they dine somewhere separate to us, and at their own pace, rather than get into strife with a badly behaved child.
Be specific about your accommodation needs.
It is wonderful if somebody else wants to book accommodation for the family however some accommodation is not appropriate for young children due to safety hazards. If someone else wishes to book the accommodation, suggest they choose a few alternatives and have a look at them on the internet. This will give you the opportunity to veto any that look unsafe.
Driving
If you plan to drive and can afford it consider hiring two vehicles one for your partner and kids, and another for the grandparents. This will facilitate the independence that will allow you to work to your own schedules, while still spending quality time together.
Babysitting.
I have heard a few grandparents (not in our family) complain that their kids only ever want them to babysit. While a multi-generational vacation brings a few extra hands into the mix for child-wrangling purposes and parents might be fortunate enough to have an evening out together, don’t overdo it. Focus on quality time together as a group and have your partner (or you) mind the kids to allow the remaining adults to enjoy the destination together as well.
Have your own tips for successful multi-generational travel? Add them as a comment here.
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Thank you. We do most of our visits with family as trips and these are all very valuable. One thing we try to do is to stress that we don’t have to do all things together all day, every day. Everyone has spent a lot of money and we shouldn’t let our needs conflict with our parents desire to see something not necessarily child friendly. I don’t want there to be any guilt if anyone feels drawn to a different must-see list.
I completely agree Ann – no need to do everything together. All works best if the group splits up sometimes.
We also spend a lot of time visiting my in-laws, who live in another country. We do spend time together traveling, and encourage them to do their own thing as well.
Great Tips, especially as we are preparing to take a trip with my parents next week.