My first full family selfie note the clicker in hand. We were all squashed on a paddle boat on the Central Coast. Fun yes. Glamorous no.

So we took the kids to the Sydney Fish Market the other day. A fabulously interesting place to visit and worthy of a post in itself. It is however not a glamorous place due to the unavoidable smell of fresh fish, wet floors and number of staff members wandering around in waders and galoshes. A young Japanese woman caught my eye at the markets. She was immaculately made up and attired and occupied herself at the smelly fish markets by taking innumerable selfies using a selfie stick. Glamorous pose in front of the large cross section of sword fish – click. Tousle hair and lean into camera for selfie in front of the crays – click. Pout lips and smooch at camera in front of filleted barramundi click. It was in a word ridiculous and I couldn’t help wondering if this woman displaying disturbing excesses of narcisim was a fellow travel blogger.

For those who like myself have remained ignorant of the rise of the selfie stick until recently let me explain. A selfie stick is an ingenious little item that clips onto a smart phone.   Via an extending handle and a remote blue tooth operated clicker it allows someone to take a selfie minus the usual arm in frame clumsiness of the traditional selfie. It is actually a cool gadget.

There is pressure for travel bloggers to churn out the selfies. We write about doing fun things so we better bloody well show some photographic proof of how much fun we were having. Well in this post I am laying down the law about selfies on this blog – a disclaimer if you will. I hate selfies. I hate selfies because I am a mum to three kids under seven, one who is still a baby. I hate selfies because I am still carrying 8 extra kilos of baby weight. I hate selfies because I don’t sleep – because all 3 of my kids wake me at least once a night each. I hate selfies because when I recently received a black eye courtesy of my four year old head butting me my mother said “Oh darling he gave you two black eyes.” No mum – that extra racoon eye is courtesy of six years of profound sleep deprivation. I hate selfies because my baby cries when I put her down to do my hair and makeup in the morning so every morning is a slap dash grooming quick bit. I hate selfies because I always have a baby in my arms or in a carrier and she tries to grab the camera when I throw caution to the wind and risk capturing a shot of myself looking chubby and sleep deprived. Give me a photo shoot with professional hair and make up any day but no selfies please.

Except, my mum just gave me a selfie stick for Christmas, and they are kind of cool gadgets so I have been trying mine out. Every time I do get it out my husband makes ribald comments that make me wish I had kept it stashed in my bag. The thing is, when I used the selfie stick the other day a small miracle occurred. We managed to get a family photo with all five of us in it.   This is a rare occurance indeed my friends.   So, there is a chance, just a small one, that more photos of myself may appear in this blog. So now for another disclaimer regarding selfies. While there is a trend for women to appear online as God made them, sometimes naked and certainly make-up free don’t expect the same from me. While I applaud a movement that seeks to dispel the societal myth that a women’s value lies in her appearance I am not that brave. Any selfie that appears on this blog is likely to be rated in the top 5% of selfies taken by me according to attractiveness. Be assured that for every selfie that makes the cut there will be many more that were deleted immediately to avoid aging angst. I will probably be wearing sunglasses because I have vampire type eyes that struggle with sunlight even on a cloudy day. This has the added benefit of hiding my sleep deprived gaze. I have no intention of cultivating my online image in anyway that mismatches the reality of who I am and who we are as a family. I also don’t desire to be a travel blogger that posts selfies that deliberately strengthen their brand. I will keep posting photos that attempt in my own clumsy way to capture the special places we visit, and my own beautiful kids enjoying them.

Love them or loathe them – how do you feel about selfies?

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