Of course it had to happen at church. My then three year old and I were playing up the back in crèche when I heard the words “You can’t have it. I don’t like brown people.” A tussle over a toy with an Aboriginal child had led to a racist slur. “Where on earth did that come from?” I wondered as I reproached my son and comforted the slighted child.
A few months on and the Disney princesses gave us further insight into our son’s preference for those of a similar skin tone. He developed an infatuation with the Disney princesses, or more specifically, the white Disney princesses. Mulan, Jasmine and Pocahontas didn’t get a look in. He wouldn’t even watch their movies, once again because he “didn’t like brown people.” It doesn’t matter that his chosen future wife Ariel the mermaid is not human, has a tail and likely smells of fish, she has fair skin and to his young mind, this indicates sameness.
Anyone doubting that racism is present, active and powerful in Australia need only turn to prime time television. Promotion by channel seven of their reality cooking show My Kitchen Rules drew heavily on a portrayal of the two non-white teams (a girl of Bangladeshi heritage paired with a girl of Indian descent and a Cambodian woman paired with a Vietnamese partner) as the villains of the series.
I think of racism as fear of the Other. I am not a sociologist, anthropologist or psychologist and I can only guess at what led my young son to so clearly differentiate himself from the “Other”, in this case those with pigmented skin tones. What I do know is that it arose innately, from a sense of anxiety or else-wise. He certainly hadn’t heard talk like that in the home.
As a mother I have many hopes and prayers for my children – that they stay safe happy and healthy being just some. I also hope that both my sons will learn to overcome their fear of the Other, that they will grow to be men that seek equality, practice openness, that they are welcoming and loving to those Other to themselves. Teaching them to do this is a precious task of motherhood that I cannot do on my own.
Most of this task will be undertaken at home, by talking to them, encouraging friendship with those of different ethnic backgrounds, by being sensitive to their anxiety. While we are a Christian family my sons are the descendants of Jewish holocaust survivors so I seek for them also to have connection with the Jewish community. Genocide is after all the most extreme manifestation of fear of the Other.
So how does travel feature in this discussion? It features because this week we are heading to China where, among the world’s largest population we will well and truly be the Other. I am hopeful that it will be an experience that, as well as being a family holiday, will add depth to future conversations and teaching. It features because I hope that travel will contribute to broadening, not just literally but metaphorically my son’s horizons.
Travel is a great leveller. I wonder how immersion in a different race will go down with your son. One thing is for sure, the more children travel the better place the world will be. Have a lovely time in China. I look forward to your posts.
Beautifully written Danielle and it is fabulous that you are giving your children so many wonderful opportunities to grow into beautiful men which I am sure they will!