Dear Easter Bunny,
I’m writing this letter as an appeal for mercy that you please, pretty please don’t visit our house this year. I know your tactics all too well. You deposit your shiny aluminium wrapped treats around our garden and home each Easter. I also know myself, and in particular my supreme weakness for chocolate. I cannot resist it. Blame the high fructose corn syrup and corporations all you want but if there is chocolate in my house it will end up in my belly. If it is officially the children’s- even better, because I will be doing their dental hygiene a favour by eating some of theirs instead. Or this is what I will tell myself as I hastily devour their carelessly placed Easter Eggs.
I am willing to overlook the fact that you have appropriated the religious holiday that remembers the death and resurrection of the Son of God. I get it. I understand that joyous celebrations and time out from the routine provides a true benefit to our society whatever their spiritual inclinations and that your fest of chocolate is a happy holiday for all. What I am not willing to overlook is the damage that your visits do to my weight, blood sugars and self esteem each year. I end up feeling like a naughty, female Augustus Gloop and let’s face it, a woman being swept away in a river of chocolate is not appealing imagery.
Mr/Ms Easter Bunny (are you a boy or a girl?) I have two words for you. Gestational Diabetes. As you may recall during my last pregnancy I experienced gestational diabetes. I wasn’t very happy about this. Firstly, I was working at the time at a Diabetes Centre and I had a profound emotional response to my own endocrine vulnerability. More importantly though is that my history of gestational diabetes puts me at a significantly increased risk of developing Type II diabetes in the future. Maintaining my waist line is about more than aesthetics. It is about my ongoing health.
I know it is likely you will feel guilty – those that are in the habit of loving kids are prone to do so. You will feel guilty that my kids will be missing out on chocolate when you have made your special delivery to all their friends. I am going to ask you to do your best to manage that guilt, if only for my sake. Talk about it, reflect, discuss it on the mythical gift giving creature Facebook group that I’m sure you belong to but control that guilt.
Finally I’m offering a compromise – If my appeal fails and you decide to visit anyway. Can I ask that you please omit any eggs with a caramel or mint centre as they are my particular weakness.
Sincerely,
Dr Danielle Esler
Mother to Nathaniel, Zachariah and Celeste.
